#it's just. too many things all at once
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pinkanonhopes · 2 years ago
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i need to study art and it's so much stuff and i won't do good but i'll try anyway!!!! cause this stuff is nice. and i'd like to know more about this.
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quietwingsinthesky · 7 months ago
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every time i think im okay i remember that the echoes of clara across the doctor’s timeline didn’t know they were echoes. or. no, some of them did, i think, but the more clara gives of herself to save the doctor, the more she loses the sense of who she is. and that’s why some of the echoes just seem like clara, knowing why she’s there and what she’s there to do. and some of them, many of them, don’t. the ones eleven meets don’t. and how many of them didn’t know haunts me. how many of them died just out of sight of the doctor, for the doctor, alone, without knowing why.
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faaun · 8 months ago
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last night i got home kind of tipsy and very much in tears and my mother told me the force you exert to keep someone in your life is proportional to the force with which they will leave your life. if you have to fight tooth and claw to keep them, their leaving will be just as hard, just as harsh, and just as definite.
#she said it like a law. its just momentum.#also she told me to get a therapist and start archery ASAP bc i need to get it together#and also she said even granting that this person u were in love w was So Special . as in hot motorcycle-riding iranian masc lesbian in ldn#they arent the only one on earth and that once i start my proper adult life outside of studies etc etc i will probably no longer live in th#UK. she said most non straight iranians u would like have left the country anyway . where do you think they went? theyre out there#and also she asked me to imagine how many hot gay iranians there may be in italy or amsterdam or smth and i was like ok points 😭 maybe#ur right. anyway i was having a feeling of dread bc crying into the arms of ur strict asian mother while buzzed usually results in#death chaos destruction etc in the next few days but actually i think maybe she has genuinely changed as a person and the fear is#unwarranted#anyway i need to eat breakfast and study w the date person i met yesterday#they are so nice ??? genuinely so so sweet i dont feel attracted to them at all omg i genuinely think i have a thing for hot evil ppl 😭#but we could b besties . theyre a lot more romantic than the ex situationship person too like generally . ugh they should be perfect but#alas it appears i am shallow as fuck or potentially a lesbian actually#OH THEY MIGHT ALSO BE POTENTIALLY A LESBIAN BTW#i think i just tend to not date cis ppl entirely by accident#....feel free to rb if u want btw sorry for the rant
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pinkeoni · 4 months ago
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ppl know that other characters can be at this church, and byler can still happening, right? like this one scene doesn't have to go exactly the way you think it will and it won't effect the overall outcome of their relationship
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dykedvonte · 2 months ago
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wanted to say I appreciate your nuanced takes on MW and especially Curly. i don't get the claim that the fandom is full of Curly apologists when majority (esp yt and tiktok) say he's worse than Jimmy. Yes there's commentary about bro culture defending people, he def messed up in trying to placate Jimmy (tbh "we'll fix this" sounded more like trying to keep someone prone to outbursts like Jim calm and not hurt Anya/himself) but I don't think he did nothing to help Anya, since she continued to confide in him and he had less than a week to resolve it before the crash (I also don't get everyone saying he knew for ages when it seems like Anya told him that same week). I get Jimmy's a pos but saying stuff like Curly should've known he'd crash the ship or that Jim had a criminal record he ignored, reducing them to obviously horrible villain and willfully ignorant sidekick feels like a disservice to the game. If your best friend turned out to be horrible, what would you do in a confined space in the span of a few days to respond? I'd say some of the horror comes from trying to do good but ultimately failing, Curly's state after the crash is meant to be tragic horror not revenge/punishment
Thank you and this is what I want to get across.
A lot of information we have to supplement when it comes to how long things have been happening on this current ship. I think people try to add on to the horror and negligence by making things more obvious so it can feel like it was easier to avoid when, true to life, its not. Jimmy clearly didn't deserve or appreciate what Curly did for him in getting him the job, but do you think if Jimmy was that big of a menace on Earth he would've given him a position where he could have that level of power over people's lives? There's something in the fact he specifically chose to pick a position so close to himself where he could watch Jimmy.
I hate the bro code argument because that is a whole can of worms people really don't get. That sort of mentality is born from the general respect and preference of male matter over female ones. Curly is clearly not that guy, he is absent minded about the issue and inadvertently dismissive but he clearly believes Anya, he just can't understand what she's going through. It's an onslaught of information that no one really reacts right to. Additonally, the entire discussion of her assualt plays to heavy into the idea that there is fault outside of the perpertratior when it comes to SA. It's too close if she only did this or if Curly had protected her better but the fact of the matter is Jimmy did what he did. He did it before any of the conversations with Anya about it and it's why her behavior seemed to change so drastically in those last two days.
He has other conflicting thought and while his role as a Captain should've taken over, people act like it's not a very human thing to have such a toxic presence cloud your judgement. It is never easy to separate friend from coworker once that connection is formed, you want to help them, especially if they were friend first and for a long while like in this case. It's not right, but people act like it would be easy when the game clearly points out that no choice is easy to make, especially when you have to make it for more than one person. You have the weigh the consequences, look at all the options and make a plan. People can headcanon and decide how long things where happening, but if we look at what we were presented through the characters eyes, the only person given time to do that was Jimmy.
He waited two months after the crash to appoint himself Captain. Every time a problem was brought up he immediately took action and refused to sit on it and find a better solution. I think it's important to look at the warped way Jimmy takes initiative where Curly didn't as it works as a good contrast of why you don't just run in to "fix" things. The quickest and easiest option may not be the safest or most beneficial. I think some thoughts on the game suffer from the black and white thinking the game doesn't operate on along with us being voyeurs. We see what exactly led to what but the characters don't. They don't have the hindsight and foresight we do and even ours is scrambled by the non-linear story telling.
Like it's hard to talk abuou those grey zones without sounding like an apologist because you're explaining why taking responsibility isn't easy. It's not and it's weird to act like it would be in a scenerio that led up to the events of the game knowing what we know. We see all these characters in such isolated moments with various things before, in between, after and even during we aren't privy too. The idea that Jimmy is worse than Curly heavily banks on the words Jimmy was saying to Jimmy before he crashed the ship. That whatever happened on the ship was his responsibility to bare, which is true due to his position. But, are they not still not responsible for taking the actions Curly then must bare?
Like i feel like people think that these are situation that become easier with age or when you are in a postion of authority and they aren't. You don't lose your biases or gain some sudden knowledge that makes it easier. It just becomes more tiring as you keep dealing with it. I would be first in line to say Curly fucked up and should've done more but the idea he knew how bad it could get or he really saw the worst in the people around him and ignored it pretty much ignores a huge aspect of his character and the game.
#i do believe Anya was a victum to Jimmy more than once before the crash but the game plays wit the sort of fear of waiting and stagnation#i believe the reason she decided to tell him was becasuse she finally broke down and tested to see if she was pregnant after one too many#signs and its why she went to hide the gun because she knew now that there was proof of what Jimmy did and was he would do anything to#cover it up and while she also didn't want the baby there was no sure fire way to safely induce a miscarriage or abortion cause shes smart#enough to know that hence her reading the illusion of choice and taking measures to protect herself#but in the hypothetical it was a one time occurence I think Jimmy would act like one single mistake shouldn't define him and Anya thinks#that if she did something sooner or said something sooner than she or Curly could've stopped all of it but that the hard thing taking actio#its so hard to be preventative to a person like they also have the autonomy to do things and no one on the ship is okay with actively takin#that away outside of Jimmy that its just a delicate issue and people act like it was a conscious choice not to help when he just helped#wrong he did wrong by not immediately punishing Jimmy but at the same time did he even fully get it yet? Jimmy immediately got into his hea#after like the sound design right before he confront him is telling like every track sort of gives you the feeling of the characters where#we cant see their thoughts because again the only two characters pov we get are Jimmy's and Curly's and even then we only get Curly's thru#the responsibilites he has to take like he is always tasked with something because thats his role but we rarely see him do something off hi#own volition cause hes a metaphorical cog in many of the machines the games comments on but he's not actively pulling a switch#also i think people latch on to the we can both be heros things too much when analyzing Curly because Curly very much is not happy being th#leader and current “hero” of the Tulpar he just wants out in a way that doesn't hurt and while he is still responsible for not doing more#the idea he could've easily nipped this in the butt acts like Jimmy was not a beast of his own and that he made Jimmy into the person he wa#vs the fact that Jimmy is a person on his own right that makes these choices others are forced to take responsibility for when he simply c#couldve not done evil shit like at the end of the day Curly is not perfect but not nearly or remotely as bad as Jimmy because for that hed#have to not care hed have to not have tried hed have to not try to take responsibility and he did just not in the right way but thats#subjective to the person and you can only realize you did fuck up after the results are before you and its tragic like this game is a#a tragedy no matter how you try and spin it. There's lessosn to be learnt but at the end of the day it telling the worst moments of peoples#lives and the certain inevitabilities that come with it#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#nurse anya#anya mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing
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spitblaze · 6 months ago
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gnc and butch women (cis AND trans) and transmascs are punished for performing masculinity past certain thresholds of arbitrary attractiveness because people that cishet society categorizes or clocks as 'women' are not supposed to perform masculinity. hope this helps 👍
#spitblaze says things#this is the last thing im ever gonna fuckin say on the topic. im purging this stupidity from my brain once and for all with this post#there is an intersection of transphobia and misogyny here and idc what you wanna call it but to deny its existence is weird to me#transfems' hypervisibility means they have a lot of recognition but its absolutely not a privilege#transmascs' invisibility means they can stealth and fly under the radar easier which is better but not by a lot#and the assertion that nb people have to 'pick a side' so we can decide how to treat them is fucking ludicrous#there are absolutely differences in our treatment and our needs but a lot of it boils down to the same shit.#we are women when they want to deny us agency. we are men when they want to deny us support. this is true for everyone under the umbrella#and it's MEASURABLY worse when you're not white#anyway. im kinda over leftist groups who spend all their effort arguing about theory instead of doing anything in practice#so the next person who claims butch lesbians have 'masc privilege' or that transmascs dont actually face any sort of unique oppression#is getting smacked with a heavily vandalized copy of abigail schrier's Irreparable Damage#like again idgaf what you call it. you can just call it 'transphobia and misogyny' if you want im not a cop#ive just seen too many people who claim that it doesnt exist at all and im done with letting this take up brainspace#so im hanging up this sign and leaving. goodbye#i saw us go through the exact same shit with bisexuals and asexuals and gay men and frankly im not thrilled that its at my doorstep again#we go through a lot of the same shit but different populations do in fact need different kinds of support. thats it
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genericpuff · 11 months ago
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vent post
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#and before anyone who hates my shit says “yeah because you ARE a loser way to have self awareness for once”#i promise you this would be me with or without the LO fandom LMAO#anxiety is a hell of a thing#and as much as i internally guilt myself into thinking it would be better if i just shut up and hid away forever#i also know that's the trauma speaking because the adults around me always told me to shut up#and even as an adult i still encounter people who talk over me and make me feel like i'm not allowed to be outspoken#but the pen is mightier than the sword and all those years i've spent being spoken over i've been honing my penmanship#i have fun talking about the things i talk about and i don't have any less right than anyone else to do it#i am cringe and i am free#self post#vent post#altho on another note i do wanna make time this week to go find new series to read#too many of my favorites have turned to shit and it's taken its toll#i KNOW there are better comics out there that are genuinely well made#i already have a few that i'm reading that i love but i need to balance out the good with the bad more lol#i just need to take the time to go find good stuff instead of pouring so much of my attention into the bullshit that doesn't deserve my tim#i think both things can be true#i can have a lot of fun dissecting and writing about series i don't like#while also nourishing myself with good works that restore my faith in this medium#“perfectly balanced as all things should be”
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rosedosed · 2 months ago
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Man obviously there’s a bunch of really unfortunate consequences to Elon’s mishandling of twitter but the thing that really got to me after a while was how lonely it feels to use the platform now. I only follow my friends and a couple of artists yet my whole dash is filled with total strangers and blue checkmarks trying to farm engagement. There’s an unblockable ad every three tweets (two if you’re counting the bots trying sell me something). There’s no lingering on interesting videos cause they all autoscroll tiktok style (with ads every 3 vids). Following someone means zilch so if I wanna see what the friends I use the platform for have been up to I have to manually go to their accounts & half the time the first tweet I see is an announcement that they’re leaving. It’s such a dead mining town of a website, but instead of dying because the mines just naturally dried out and people left for greener pastures, it’s dying because the newly appointed nepobaby Sheriff got really into building a 7-story mall in the middle of the desert without ever stopping to think what it’d do to the local economy and wildlife, or even if anyone needed an apple store and three taco bells in the middle of the outback.
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emily-mooon · 6 days ago
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Happy holidays! Here’s Jonathan in the most devastating au you can put him in: It’s A Wonderful Life au
Colour version↓
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marshmallowgoop · 1 year ago
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I combined footage from my Detektiv Conan Blu-ray with audio from my Case Closed FUNimation DVD and made an HD English dub clip compilation for Episodes 57-58, "The Holmes Freak Murder Case."
#detective conan#case closed#video#funimation english dub script#i wasn't actually gonna post this video to tumblr because it's so long (because i have a lot of feelings about this case!)#but folks on discord liked it and i'm all about my funi dub propaganda so why not right?#the dub script here is just so fun--and does so well at making the dialogue *work* and sound natural in english#and has so much flavor! it does arguably too much in terms of creative liberties but things like#'can i really trust what a kid saw?' of the sub translation compared to 'and what were you smoking before you ran out there?' in the dub#are much more enjoyable to me#(other fun phrasings: 'the one who's always hangin' around you guys' (sub) vs. 'the little-bitty one with the great big brain!' (dub))#(and 'of course not! the reason i applied for this tour was 'cuz i thought i might find kudo' (sub))#(vs. 'who me? no no no. actually i signed up because i was hoping to run into jimmy here. but i guess i'm out of luck' (dub))#(and so many more! this script just has so much character)#and while it is a shame that the dub eliminated heiji's accent i do like the changed line ('i know it's you!')#'cause you've met shinichi *once* heiji lol#but yeah this is a fun case! i'm really happy to have finally hd'd the funi dub for it :')#one of my favorite things about the funi dub is that jerry jewell (shinichi's va) voices conan's thoughts#and it's so nice to hear *shinichi* and heiji deducting together (and the way they finish each other's thoughts and vibe... it gets to me)
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introspectivememories · 3 months ago
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coked-out bernard dowd, send tweet
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ikemenomegas · 3 months ago
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good-ending!kakashi and itachi need to have a little former traumatized geniuses cooking club where they get comfortable with making little "mistakes" and putting imperfect dishes on the table and improvising without needing to explain themselves like it's life or death
#the “former” is aspirational and v cute#probably sai and tenzo also join at some point#of course gai joins in occasionally because he's not to be outdone by his rival with cooking of all things#and also with these four it can get depressing quick#iruka is invited once as a courtesy when he shows up to work with one too many kitchen injuries lol#if there's one thing they're not the cooking club is not clumsy#... unfortunately he is quietly assigned a buddy any future attendances#usually itachi because itachi can put out fires very quickly#or sai because sai is (frustratingly) talented in the kitchen and doesn't feel he's missing out on practice#neji might also participate sometimes! he wasn't ever anbu but he probably needs the therapy-ness of it#he's not a huge group activities person but sai invites him and he's surprised by how low-key it is#he gets a little competitive with itachi lol#since itachi doesn't care about things like using all whole-grains or only organics or attempting to make a recipe vegan#he's very good at following directions don't get me wrong but he's not much of an experimenter unless he knows a dish super well#while neji just knows which replacements to use after doing it for so long#neji isn't super militant about it but he watches his diet to make sure it isn't imbalanced/overly protein heavy#and like itachi he doesn't care for strong tasting meat so he'll preferentially choose fish or plant proteins#this is what finally makes things more easy between the two of them! some of the others want to make a meat-heavy dish one time#but itachi isn't feeling it and neji shows him how to do a tofu alternative!#long tags#naruto#from the margins#hatake kakashi#uchiha itachi#hyuga neji#sai#yamato tenzo#umino iruka#omegaverse
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sciderman · 9 months ago
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I swear I have read your big post regarding Peter Parker's neurodivergence and why it is best to avoid labelling him, but he definitely has a weird brain
Can't find it and feel kinda sad about it cuz I deeply related to it
i know exactly which post you're talking about and i can't find it either! i've raked through my archive, and it's just - nowhere to be seen. i think tumblr eated it (it happens.)
really, tumblr's search functionality is so so useless, i don't know what to tell you. there are plenty of keywords i can search to find it that post, but the search functionality actually just does not work!
undiagnosed audhd-addled peter parker, my darling, my light, my life, my everything.
i think peter parker's such an interesting creature to write, because a lot of people will point to a certain behaviour about him and say "this is an autistic thing, right?" but a lot of those behaviours are actually, in my head, tied to certain traumas in peter's life too.
people say "oh, the food thing, peter's a picky eater because he's autistic" and yes, absolutely. but also it's tied to his trauma with his parents.
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peter gets overstimulated, and yes, it's an autism thing, but also he was bitten by a radioactive spider and his senses are dialled to 11.
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it's a similar case i've found for myself, too – where a lot of friends i have kind of diagnose me because i have autistic traits, but actually - i'm hesitant to claim the label or pursue diagnosis because, actually, i know where these certain behaviours come from, and they come from certain traumas. there are events i can pinpoint in my life and say "yep. that's where this behaviour comes from."
so - i think there's a lot of overlap between trauma and autistic traits. the brain is very complex! i think the reason for that overlap is maybe as simple as the fact that people with autism and people with trauma are both doing the same thing - developing behaviours to protect themselves or soothe themselves. so - i think it's nice to be able to see a character like peter parker, who may or may not be autistic, but recognise behaviours in him and see yourself in him.
people who go undiagnosed for whatever reason - people who are really good at masking - so good, in fact, that they have no idea they might be on the spectrum - everyone and anyone at all can look at peter parker and recognise themselves. because i think we discredit the thought that every single brain does the same thing! develops certain behaviours in order to survive. every brain has that same software - we've just all been faced with different hardships that we need to overcome, and that's were all the differences come in.
autism is a spectrum, i guess - everyone falls into it to some degree. and i think events in your life probably push you along on it. but i don't know, i didn't study brain science. probably what i'm saying is very stupid and uninformed. of course there's brain chemistry involved. but i know people in my life living with autism and certain events in their life have exacerbated certain behaviours or made coping with it a lot more difficult. so maybe trauma is a catalyst.
#a lot of my traits have been exacerbated lately and i remember it was much easier for me before#and some of my friends have said “oh it's because you've been masking too long and now you're facing autistic burnout.”#and that made sense to me i think.#but then i found out about the stress thing. me overproducing stress hormone. and that's a very physical thing.#and that explains why i've been overstimulated more than usual lately. and why everything feels like too much.#and i wonder how many of these traits of mine are going to subside once i have lamar removed#and it makes me wonder a lot of things. and it's so weird how much your brain is tied to your biology.#i wonder how much i'll change. i wonder how i'll feel. i wonder if i'll still feel like me. i wonder how much me is me right now.#and how much of me is being altered by weird freaky hormones. who am i?? who will i be??#i'm almost looking at this as like. a superhero origin story of some sort. like this is my spider-bite moment. maybe.#will i be different? will i cope with things differently?? now that my body isn't fighting something anymore??#maybe i'll be normal. i don't know. i don't know.#i don't know what it'll mean for me.#but all of these things mean i relate to peter parker in a certain kind of way#i don't think you have to be diagnosed with autism to recognise and empathise with those traits i think#i think everyone can see themselves in peter. and i think that's the benefit of having characters that aren't diagnosed.#because there's so much overlap in the human experience. and certain feelings aren't exclusive to just one group of people.#peter has such a rich identity actually. it's an autistic thing. it's a queer thing. it's a jewish thing. it's a trauma thing.#there are so many overlapping parts of peter's identity that inform who he is and how he behaves and it's never just one thing.#it's a product of all of his things.#just like me! just like everyone.#so me? i guess i can be a million things. you can explain what i am in a million different ways.#a hundred different psychologists can all come up with different ways to explain why i be the way i be.#i don't think it's something that can be simplified.#sorry wow. i'm really going off here in the tags.#i hope people don't think i'm stupid. i don't know brain science. i'm just philosophising as usual.#sci speaks
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aroaessidhe · 5 months ago
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2024 reads / storygraph
The West Passage
medieval fantasy set in a giant crumbling palace of traditions with forgotten origin, ruled by giant eldritch Ladies
when winter weather comes in the middle of summer, and a beast below the palace begins to rise, two teens from Grey who have suddenly gained a lot of responsibilities set out on separate journeys to the other towers to find a way to stop it, and meet all sorts of strange people and creatures along the way
world where pronouns/names are based on people’s roles
tons of cool medieval-style chapter illustrations by the author
#the west passage#aroaessidhe 2024 reads#ooooh this is really interesting!!!#it’s like. you take those weird medieval illustrations and add some eldritch horrors and some alice-in-wonderland weirdness#and turn it into a strange fable-like adventure#it took me a little to get into it - I wasn’t sure about the writing style or characters initially- but it grew on me!#There’s very little detail about the world in the beginning but once I got a bit more into it and was like oh there’s just#weird and quirky little guys scattered all over this.#I was having trouble envisioning things and looked up the author half way through to find his art for it!#(I listened to the audiobook so was unaware there are also illustrations in the book) - that definitely refined my understanding of the vib#I didn’t actually have a look at all the chapter illustrations in the book til after and oh my god - obsessed#There’s so many of them and they’re perfect. I also enjoy the chapter titles.#And I think it’s one of those books that (for me) could teeter on the edge of like or dislike depending on surface level elements#and it went in the right direction 👍#there’s a tiny bit of romance (or: a relationship that has a romantic element) but not very much. and it is queer#also the worldbuilding kinda reminded me of keys to the kingdom (vaguely)#but like if the House was less populated and ur just following a random denizen who knows nothing travelling around. i should reread kttk#I know it means Ladies like Saints. but also every time my mind reads it as *sleasey man voice* ladiesss#oh also moment of appreciation for kuri huang cover art too
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sonknuxadow · 21 days ago
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i hate that the sonic movies get more advertising and attention from the general public than other sonic media does for a number of reasons but one thing that is particularly annoying to me right now is that because of this when a new sonic game or comic or cartoon or literally anything else that im actually excited for happens nobody seems to notice or care that it exists but now that the big new sonic thing (sonic 3) is something that im not really looking forward to at all im constantly being asked and told about it.. like come onnnnn
#talking about irl interactions not online. in case thats not already obvious#like. i know nobody has actual bad intentions . most of these people do not know enough about the games#to know that the movie is looking like its going to completely butcher the plot of sa2 and that im mad about it#and i dont think anyone irl really knows all the details of my increasingly strained relationship with the scu either#they just know that i love sonic . or even that i liked the first 2 movies depending on who they are . and a new sonic movie is coming out#and im not upset they try to talk to me about sonic i LOVE talking about sonic#but its so frustrating that people seem to only care when the scu is involved. even if they dont actually watch the movies anyway???#and it doesnt end at people only bringing up sonic when its the scu#ive also had many conversations where i mention a game or comic or something and the person im talking to makes it about the movies#like (*mentions i like sonic* ''have you seen the movies''. or *mentions a new sonic thing* ''is it related to the movies'' etc)#like come onnnn we were talking about the games can we talk about the games in a way that doesnt involve the movies for Once#again i know nobody has bad intentions so i feel kinda bad for being annoyed#and its not entirely their fault since a video game or comic is inherently going to be less known than a big movie . but goddddd#this happened a bit with the knuckles series too but not to the same extent that its happening wiht sonic 3
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moonchild-in-blue · 3 months ago
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I just want everyone to know that in the span of 3 days, I have made 3 loads of laundry, and have a 4th already sorted and ready to go (which includes towels / blankets / bedding). I still need to fold them and put them away BUT the important part is done 🥹
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